I have a huge issue with this and I think we all need to sit down and have a conversation about this.
I want to make one statement and I want to make this very clear.
It. Is. Not. Okay. To. Bodyshame. Anyone.
Definition of Bodyshaming: The action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size.
This topic came to me when I was watching a reality show – y’all know I love me some trash reality shows. It was a very typical scenario that occurs on all of these shows – everyone was gathered at a party, everyone was drinking, and a fight broke out.
Sidenote: I need reality shows to realize that we’ve seen that same scenario a million times like get a new one PLEASE.
Back to the show – everyone started to argue and a guy approached a girl and called her a whale literally out of nowhere. I kid you not, this guy was not even a part of the fight and just called her a whale which in my world is fighting terms so he would have gotten backhanded. Now this whole scenario was probably staged but it got me thinking about body image and society and I just got angry. I legitimately got mad.
We all know that I live on the West Coast and I will honestly say that I’ve never seen people work out and eat healthy so much in my life. Everything is kale this and meal prep that – no I don’t want a Acai bowl for breakfast, I want waffles and a mimosa. Range-free, conflict-free, gluten-free – just give me some damn food. Every guy I’ve met on Tinder emphasizes on their workouts and clean eating lifestyles. Most females spend their weekday nights and weekends full of spin and barre classes. Safe to say, West Coast people care about their looks a lot – not knocking that whatsoever but it does get intimidating. It can make you look at yourself like what could I change? Could my body be better?
Society puts so much pressure on how they feel like we are supposed to look and the minute someone does not fit the expectation – the bodyshaming begins. How the hell am I supposed to be a size 2 with DD boobs and a large ass? Like let’s be realistic. Even with plus sized individuals, they confine them to society’s version of plus size which also isn’t realistic to every plus sized woman or man. I’m too broke to afford surgery so I’ll just be over here content looking like the ruler out of the protractor case we all had in elementary school.
I never really talk about personal situations or scenarios on my blog for various reasons but when writing about bodyshaming, I wanted to add a personal experience to voice that I have also been a victim of it. Yes, frail hoes like myself have been through it too. I have been very thin my whole life. Never really had any type of curves whatsoever. When girls were developing, my whole body was as flat as a teenage boy. I was called anorexic and sick on a daily basis. On countless occasions, I was compared to starving children in third world countries as a joke. Guys would comment on how they would “break” me because I’m so small. Bodyshaming became second nature to me and I started to look at myself as gross and unattractive because of the constant negativity surrounding my weight. It took me years to get rid of that stigma and I’m happy to say today that I’m happy with myself and how I look and how the ridicule only made me stronger in the long run. Also if I could go back in time, I would tell teenage Mia to learn martial arts so she could highkick every dumbass that had something negative to say.
If you have a significant other who bodyshames you even once, I would like you to know that it is not okay and you need to be with someone who treats you like the amazing bad ass individual you are. In high school, I had an ex-boyfriend that was very prominent in my life – if you knew me from high school, you know who that guy was. It was the typical high school relationship full of breakups and makeups but for some reason, I always cared about what he thought. If he said he liked something, I made sure I did that. Yes, I was a full-fledged dumbass. We were alone in his room and he looked at me and in typical girl manner, I thought he was going to say something sweet – man was I wrong. He looked at me with loving eyes and said “if you gained 10 pounds, you would look perfect” Now I get people can say the wrong things but this was not the first or last time he made a comment of this nature. Now looking back, I should have punched him into next week and never talked to him again but the young naïve version of me did not know better. In that moment in time, I felt like I wasn’t good enough for this person like I was hideous and gross. I’m sharing this story because I want EVERYONE to realize if someone is making you feel like I did, leave them, run away from them, CUT THEM OUT.
I feel like no matter what size you are, society wants to put a limitation. You’re not skinny enough – eat less, you’re too skinny – eat more. You’re not fit enough – you’re out of shape, you’re too fit – you must be using steroids. To me, we are projecting unrealistic ideals to our youth. I have two younger female cousins and I never want them to feel ashamed of their bodies because they aren’t a certain size or look a certain way. As a society, we need to stop putting so much pressure on each other to look better and focus more time on being better people.
Regardless of what you feel is beautiful, do not put someone else down because of your ideals. It just is not fair. We, as humans, all need to give each other a damn break. I’m expected to have all my shit together and look like a video vixen – not possible.
I’m saying all of this to men and women – as long as you are happy and healthy, fuck whatever society or anyone else thinks you should look like. I think you’re beautiful the way you are.