It’s that time of year everyone. MY. FREAKING. BIRTHDAY.
Now if you know me, I love my birthday oh so much. I have to have a birthday plan, a birthday outfit, I buy myself a nice present. I think of birthdays as the only day of the year where you can talk about yourself as much as you want because it was the day that God decided to bring your existence in the world. Poetic, I know.
As much as I love birthdays, there’s always the few people that take it to the extreme and that is what I’m here to rant about today…
The Friend Who Has to Celebrate All Month: Now God picked one special day in the year for you and somehow your over-eager ass decided to drag it on all month. A month is twenty eight to thirty one days, I will say happy birthday to you once and once only. I will attend one birthday trip/one birthday dinner/one birthday party. I will not go out every weekend of the month for your birthday. If the Pope celebrates his birthday for one day and one day only, so will you.
“Girl it’s my birthday month!”
“No, it’s the month you were born in – contact me on your date of birth.”
The Friend Who Ask For The Overly Priced Items: I love a good purse or a good perfume but those things are pricey. Don’t be the friend who asks for a Hermes bracelet or a iPad and expect your friend to buy it. That’s just obnoxious and last time I checked my wallet, I’m not a Hilton therefore you will get a budget. Those type of gifts are for your parents and your significant other – other than that, go buy it yourself. If your gift is more than my student loan amount each month, you will not be receiving that item from me.
The Friend Who Changes Their Social Media Name To Their Birth Month/Date: This is a very specific one but this drives me insane. For example, Sarah’s birthday is in May and her Twitter name is usually saraj and then end of April/beginning of May and all of a sudden her name turns into may11thjustwaitonit. NO NO NO. This is not acceptable by any means people. This is corny. Lets all say it together – cor-ny. You do not need to be that pressed over your birthday and the whole world does not need to know your birthdate. Was I the only one who watched the 60 Minutes special where they told you not to reveal too much information on the Internet? That’s fine – when a creepy old man that looks like he belongs on To Catch A Predator shows up at your house with a present on your birthday, don’t be surprised – I warned you.
Naming Years: Now I don’t know who to blame this on. Miley? Jordan? But this trend is just plain stupid. Turning 22-24 has became increasingly annoying in the past three years. Why? Because people always got to ruin something. Taylor Swift had to make a dumb song about being 22 which turns into a Instagram caption about every other week. Miley insisted on re-highlighting that Jordan’s number is 23 which still baffles me. Somehow we threw Kobe into the mix because hey, we needed another Instagram caption right? Can we stop this? I wanted to turn 22 in peace but I couldn’t. I want to turn 23 in peace but probably won’t and I’m already irritated about turning 24 because someone will refer it to my Kobe year. I’m not drunk in love at 22 and I’m not going to be a basketball superstar at 23 or 24 so this just needs to come to a abrupt end everyone. Just like the Nae Nae, this needs to be buried deep in the box of trends that need to go away forever.
Now even though I just spent half of my blog ranting about how people ruin birthdays, I love birthdays. I’m so excited for mine in a few days. I’ll be another year older, toasting to the fact that I actually graduated college and somehow scored a corporate job (Still praising the big G.O.D for that one).
This birthday/birthday will be spent with one of my favorite people sitting on my ass relaxing, eating, and enjoying football and I couldn’t ask for anything more.