Being a newly college graduate, you’re expected to start your new life in the big adult world. Your family, friends, teachers all fill your head with images of you at business meetings, traveling for conferences, and making a name for yourself…..
NEWS FLASH: Shit ain’t cute. Don’t run out and spend your graduation money at Banana because most likely, you’ll be spending more time on your couch than in an office.
Now Princess Mia was blessed by every higher power above and got her desired job at her dream organization. YAY ME but the transition from college princess to corporate barbie is not easy as the Instagram caption I made on my first day.
In college, you have class and probably a part time job. Wanna know what I miss the most about college? Partying – nope. Seeing my friends 24/7 – kinda but no. Meal plan – missng you everyday but still no. Napping. I miss napping more than life. I was the Queen of Napping in college. 3 hours? Good ass nap. 1.5 hours? Average nap. 30 minutes? Power nap is better than nothing. You go to class, come back, take a nap, and continue with your day. I go to work at 7:30 am and get off at 4 pm – 8 hours, no nap. Some days I’m so tired that I want to backhand every single person in my office. I consider napping on my lunch break almost every day. Lets take a moment of silence for my non existent days of napping….
On the first day of work, they gave me a presentation on 401ks and health insurance. After the presentation, they asked if I had any questions, UM YES – WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST GIVE ME? College is four years of bullshit in my eyes. I was a business major and not once did I get one damn brochure, pamplet, etc. on retirement funds. What the hell did we pay for? I. Had. No. Clue. About. Health. Insurance. I’ve been on Eric’s plan (aka Dad) for a good 22 years – this is not my area of expertise. I had to google what a flex spending account was. Why? Because it might as well be Chinese because I don’t understand when healthcare decided to get a savings account.
At my workplace, I am the youngest or one of the youngest employees. I’m gonna be real realistic right now – I’m manless and childless. I come home to my Cheetos and my Netflix therefore when the subject of marriage and kids come up, I just think about the last thing I ate that day. Compared to some of my other employees, I just crawled out the womb like yesterday. I can’t talk about my weekend at the club in the break room. “Mia how was your weekend?” “Good, I just hung out with some friends.” *looks at Snapchat and I’m asleep with a vodka bottle* Let’s just say the generational gap is too real at my office but hey I’ll hang with the OGs as long as I have a job.
What have I learned the most in working in the corporate world? College was a waste of money. You don’t realize how much bullshit college is until you start working. I spend four years eating, partying, and napping. I would of rather a class on how to do taxes than stupid microeconomics (still waiting for that shit to be useful). I did not need Psych 101- I needed Microsoft Outlook 101.
Princess Mia is adjusting to her new life but just know the grass isn’t always greener on the corporate side.